The Still In the Spinning

I think of a top going round and round faster and faster,
then more slowly, then slower still, until it teeters on 
its edges and tips to one side and falls down.

Still.

After so much spinning.

This past week has been a doozy.

So much motion, free falling sadness.

Our cholangio friend Travis Lee Roberts passed away
on Saturday morning.

It broke our hearts into a million tiny pieces.

You can read his obituary here:

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/atlanta/obituary.aspx?n=travis-lee-roberts&pid=171274313&fhid=4911

(for some reason my link is not working. Copy and paste
it in your browser to read Trav's obituary.)

Kyle got some pretty grim news on Monday and then
hopped on a plane Monday night to Atlanta to hug Carrie 
and honor her husband Travis by being there for his funeral.

He had a deep need and a pull to go and give of his
heart and love.  It was an overwhelming feeling he
could not put aside and so he threw caution to the 
wind and set off on another adventure.

Life is moving at a fast clip, a rapid pace, right
now and sometimes I fear it needs to slow down.

Time is both a blessing and an enemy.

Especially when the clock is ticking.

Kyle spent the day at the funeral today and said his "mascara
was a mess from so many tears."  (Not literal mascara
of course, just the figurative kind.)  He felt so
much anguish and sadness in his heart and kept texting
things like "their babies are so small"  "I see Carrie"
"This family is so kind to me"  "They are so full of love".

He was invited back to Carries house where he sat with
family and friends who knew Travis best and heard stories
about "his brother" in battle.  

The battle of a lifetime.

The fight with the beast called cancer.

He was OVERWHELMED with kindness by a family loving HIM,
on a day they were mourning the man THEY loved.

He said over and over how kind and loving this family
was to HIM in their darkest hour.  

This overwhelmed him.

They gave him hugs, for BOTH he and I, and begged
him to keep fighting.

Please keep fighting.  Don't give up.

And then he boarded a flight to come home and told
me "the tears won't stop falling."

"I don't want to die" he said simply.

And I told him to let it out.

Just let it out.

Be still.

After so much spinning.

And that's what I've got for today.

Kyle and Carrie