Carry On!

The group "FUN" sings a song called "Carry On"...

The lyrics to the chorus are as follows:

"If you're lost and alone,
or you're sinking like a stone,
Carry On.
May your past be the sound,
Of your feet upon the ground,
Carry On!

Carry On!
Carry On!
Carry On!"


Some days cancer feels like this...

lost.

alone.

sinking like a stone.

heavy.

But I like that we can move past ALL the bad moments (eventually).

We get up, out of bed,

put our feet upon the ground and 

move forward.

We "Carry On!"

Monday here in Utah was rainy and dreary and both Kyle and I had a bit of the "Cancer Blues."

(It's that "reality" thing that hits so hard some days....

cancer. cancer. cancer.)

Then we met with "our attorney"  (a term we use loosely for
"old friend" helping with things like Power of Attorney and Wills and all that fun stuff.)

Fun. Stuff.

He also happens to be our old Bishop (and now a Stake President)--and besides ANY of those things he is a wonderful human being, and a dear "old" friend.

First and foremost.

He went through all of our hard questions with us and answered them beautifully.  (he REALLY knows his stuff--thank goodness!)

Then I looked at him and said "James, I want to ask you something without your attorney coat on for a minute."

Kyle and I explained some of the ridiculousness we have had said to us regarding trials and why this stuff happens.  This time in particular.

James figuratively took off his "lawyer coat" and put on his "friend coat" and looked at Kyle and after a moment of silence he said....in his kind and quiet way...

(Possibly contemplating how angry I would be *IF* he said the "wrong thing.")  I jest, of course.  Well, sort of.

"Kyle this DID NOT happen to you because you're a bad person that needs to learn a lesson.  This ALSO did NOT happen to you because you're so strong that only you can handle it.  I do not believe that God even "made" this happen to you.  It's NOT a punishment for something you've done wrong, and it's NOT a reward because you've 'lived a good life and to bring you blessings you need'.  It just happened!"  

It.Just.Happened.

(At which point I let out a loud "AMEN" and "Hallelujah!"...And yelled "THANK YOU for validating me!" --after which I sheepishly hung my head, since it was clear he had not yet finished his thought...no seriously though on the "Amen" and "Hallelujah"!)

He then told the story about loosing his OWN father at the tender young age of 5 and what it had meant to him through his life.  (So yes, he "GETS" it.)

He explained how this had changed his life and how it shaped who he became (and again let me say, who he became is SUCH a wonderful human being...his dad would be SO proud!)

He told Kyle that sometimes "life", it JUST HAPPENS, there are JUST "bumps in the road of mortality" and we get to choose how we will react and who we will become when we hit a bump.

(To myself I'm pumping my fist and yelling "YES!" over and over!)

We get to choose if we "Carry On", or not.

Once again, along this journey we found someone to help carry us over a bump in the road.  Someone to love us and strengthen us when the day felt bleak, when the rain was falling and our hearts were faltering.

I made sure to give him an extra big hug on the way out the door.

In some ways this journey has become (...dare I use the word?!)....

Sacred.   (Webster definition 5b : highly valued and important )

And so today, we Carry On.  Our feet placed firmly on the ground
moving towards whatever the future has in store for us.

(which in our case means tomorrow is more chemo!)

We are surrounded somehow(beautifully and wonderfully)by people that are helping to carry us every step of the way.

Sometimes, just when we need them the most and cannot take another step by ourselves.

And don't we ALL have things in life that are hard?  

Heavy days?

Hard moments that knock us down?

A time when we think we just cannot go on?

Hopefully YOU have people in YOUR life that help to carry
the burdens when they become to heavy to bear alone.

So this is what I've got for today...

Carry On.

Carry On.

Carry ON!