comfortable old shoes

I hope the Palmers are okay with being part of a blog post.

I also hope they are okay with being referred to as 

"comfortable old shoes."

Because we mean it in a good way.

The best way possible.

Last night we went out to dinner with these dear, old

(as in long time, not ancient) friends.

Although we are sort of getting old...as in the ancient way.

Sort of.

We have known them since our oldest children were new babies.

19 Years.

That is a long time.

Our kids grew up at each others houses, inseparable.

Hours upon hours upon hours of play and legos and forts

and dolls and house and sleepovers and camping trips and

family trips.

Kyle and Brett served in numerous Young Men and Scout callings

together and Lisa and I tagged along, sometimes even on the

camping trips, to be a part of the fun.

When it comes to Good People?

These guys are the definition of "good people."

We see them much less now that time and life and distance

has separated our families...but we ALWAYS see them once 

a year at an annual Christmas Party we have with a group

of (equally "good people") old friends.

These kind of friends are the best kind.

They are like that comfortable, favorite pair of old shoes

laying in the back of your closet.

The kind you have loved and worn and they match everything.

They are cozy and well worn and may be tucked away in the closet,

but are never forgotten.

You still love them just as much as the day you bought them,

even if they are not used everyday now.

They are the kind of shoes that sometimes get overlooked because of the glittery new shoes in the front of your closet that you now wear a little bit more.

But one day, as you're digging around in your closet, on your hands and knees, you dig a little deeper into that pile of shoes and pull out your favorite old pair.

You hold them up in front of you.

Your face lights up with a smile and you remember all the good

times you had with these "old shoes."

Your heart is a little happier just at the sight of them, and you sigh with delight as you slip these shoes on to your feet.

They still fit.

Just like always.

They are still JUST like you remembered.

Comfortable, cozy.

The BEST kind of shoe!

(And this comes from a lady who LOVES herself some shoes!)

The Palmers are (some of) our best "old shoes."

And so we sat and ate dinner with them last night and talked about Kyle and cancer and kids and life.

The fit was still good.  Their words kind.  Their actions

loving.  Their intent the very very best.

Old shoes.  

We sighed deeply, and smiled, and slipped right in to an old

cadence and pattern and memories of good times with them.

We were ourselves.  

There was no worry of saying the wrong thing, or judgement, or anything, other than being ourselves and eating and talking.

We left with big hugs and kind words of love and promises to get

together again, and more often and just "be."

As we got in the car and drove home through the darkening evening skies, I became quiet and Kyle asked me what was wrong.

My voice caught in my throat as I tried to explain how I felt.

Melancholy.  

I was feeling the deep, pensive, heavy sadness of this sweet moment.  It was tender and sweet, yet the reason for it was heavy

and hard.

But not in a bad way.

Is it possible to be sweet and heavy in the same breath?

The same moment?

I have found that during this journey the answer is yes.

I found myself reflecting on many years of goodness and associations with AMAZING people in our lives.

Kyle and I often look at each other and wonder "HOW? did we

get so many good (as in "old shoe good") kind of friends?"

We feel so many deep, and lasting, connections with SO MANY great people in our lives.

It is so sweet and tender to feel them gathering around us now.

At this time.

For this reason.

So sweet.

It also is heavy, because of what lies behind the "gathering".

(cancer)

That one word I've talked about that never goes away.

Do you see what I mean?

(cancer)

It's always there.

That word.

In the gathering together of people around us now.

That's not a bad thing.

It just is.

It just is.

So today, today we are so so very grateful for all of our

comfortable old shoe kind of friends.

The people that come and gather and let us be.

The kind that are not afraid to circle and love and hold.

The kind that come into the "dark" with us and are not afraid.

The kind that step out of our figurative closets during the

darkest hours of our need.

The kind that are not afraid to grab our hands and hold on tightly and face this battle together.

The kind that are still here.

Even when it may be easier to not be.

The kind that bless our lives everyday through love and acts of kindness and goodness.

Thank you for still hugging our feet.

Thank you for still fitting.

Thank you for coming out of the closet just when we need you

the most.

Thank you for being our comfortable old shoes.

We love you so very very much.

All of you, you comfortable old shoes....

That is what I've got for today!