Glass Half Full....Glass Half Empty

Well, the results are in.

Kyle met with Dr Sharma and team today.

After his appointment...
Kyle texted me and said, "Everything is fine."
(glass half full)

He THEN read me the scan results and I heard
"7-8 new tumors in the liver"
and said "HOLY SHIT!"  (glass half empty)

7 or 8 NEW tumors since November when there was only 1.

Kyle said "Well there is no new cancer in any 
other organs of my body!"  (glass half full)

I am still stuck on the 7-8 TUMORS
GROWING IN HIS LIVER.  (glass half empty)

And HE is celebrating no new cancer anywhere else.
(glass half full)

Atta guy!

His lymph nodes are stable.
(We can both agree on "glass half full" here.)

The lungs have new growth as well. 
Which is probably why his cough has progressed
so much in the past few weeks.

Half full?  Half empty?  
We may call it a draw on this one.

Kyle says "Well it's not MUCH growth, so that's good".
(glass half full)

I only hear "New growth" in his lungs.
(glass half empty)

---------------------------------

The Doctor wants to do a biopsy to see what
his EXACT mutation of Cholangiocarcinoma is
so he can determine what trials and what chemos
will be most effective against the fight.

(Certain genetic mutations respond better
to certain kinds of chemo regiments, so they
want to know for this reason)

There are LOTS of mutations with Cholangio, 
just FYI.

Kyle had a biopsy done originally but somehow
the tissue sample was not enough to send
away for Genetic Testing.

The doctor is trying to schedule a NEW biopsy
for Thursday or Friday and jump right into a 
new chemo on Monday.

----------------------------------

I'm still spinning from all the news.
Trying to digest it all.

Kyle is seriously the MOST optimistic 
person I have ever known.  

Bless his heart.

He will spin it all to "glass half full" until 
there is no glass left to fill.

I am a more pragmatic and realistic and yes, possibly,
"glass half empty" kinda gal.

(So see we have our very own "You Complete Me"
Jerry McGuire kind of moments a lot in our marriage
where the half full glass meets the half empty one...
Sigh.  We definitely complete each other.)

I see a cancer that will eventually wipe out the life
of the man I love, the father of my children, and my 
best friend of 25 years....and I don't like to hear
words like "new tumors" and "new growth" and "biopsies"
and "trying a new chemo" ....

....which works only 50% of the time.

Kyle is CERTAIN he will be in the 50% of the 
people it works on.  (glass half full)

I want PROOF he is in the 50% of the people it
works on...and we won't have any until we are weeks
in to a new chemo and can test and scan and KNOW. 
(glass half empty)

So sue me.  I am a very practical person.

Here is what we can BOTH agree on.

We're off to another round of battle.
We shall see where it takes us.

And damn it all to hell (sorry for the 3 swears
in the post...I usually try really hard to limit
my swearing to letters like "F" and "S"....today
it was too hard)  we're off to the races again.

We have both our half full glasses and our 
half empty ones, we are bringing them together
with CLINK and yelling "CHEERS"

(or maybe we yelled something else altogether 
that I cannot type here, I'll let you decide!)

But we are together on the fight...

...regardless of whether the glass is half
full or half empty.

I guess if you add them up together, either way,
you've got a FULL GLASS!

And that's what I've got for today!


------------------------------------------------

The other sad, unpredictable part of living 
with cancer is the sudden change of plans
we have to make at a moments notice.

Kyle had two offers for trips to "Moab in the Spring"
(See his bucket list) and one concert this 
coming weekend.

All of these things have to be put on the
back burner because of sudden changes to 
his agenda.

Biopsies and being down and out for a weekend
don't mix with concerts and hiking.

Insert a sad face here.