This is Kyle.
Apparently my blog (and yes it was MY blog
that my wife "wrote" for me, with MY feelings
from 6 months ago when a friend died) the one from
Sunday called "The Thing Is...." really offended
people.
I apparently I offended people
near and far with what I wrote.
Apparently people interpreted that we
were ungrateful with ALL the good and kind
things that had been done for us during the
past 21 months.
We are EXTREMELY grateful.
I was only trying to talk about
feeling the pain.
And honoring that part of this journey for us.
So I (Kyle) and me (Dorien as well)
are EXTREMELY sorry for the offense this
blog post caused.
We all need to remember that we all
grieve differently and what comforts
one of us may not comfort the other.
And we all need to respect that.
So my (our) sincerest apologies for
any offense we have caused and all the
heartache and pain.
I truly love ALL of you and all of the kind
things that have been done, and appreciate
that endlessly.
We try our best to be grateful but it's hard
to always "THANK" enough--Sometimes its hard
to thank so many people for so many things
without missing someone. Sometimes
we don't even know WHO to thank for the good
things that have been done. So to NOT be
grateful???
That is NOT our intent at all.
And so if we've missed
you (and thus offended you) just know we're
also trying our best.
Love and Respect,
Kyle (and Dorien)
No apologies should be needed. People need to be sensitive to what you and your family is going through and not worry about such small things. I have enjoyed this blog and have followed it from day one. You are lovely people, even though I have not met you personally, and I love how raw this blog has been. I've felt the pain your family is going through and just hope the best for what is remaining. Much love and respect!
ReplyDeleteNever even considered being offended. I understand what you were saying.
ReplyDeleteFunny you say these things because I found your blog ironically after my father in law (only 57) passed away (very suddenly) Nov 18th of cancer. I read that post from Sunday and immediately told my sister in law that what it said is EXACTLY how we were feeling and she needed to read it. I have been checking in this week because what you are going to go through is what we just experienced and I cannot even begin to have the words to make any of it better. My mother in law is staying with us through the holidays and I have been reading her bits and pieces of your blog as I read and learn about this amazing Neilson family. Total strangers though connected through tragedy. My wish for you is for Gods grace to just overwhelm you when you need it. This is so hard on my husband and his siblings and we also have 4 kids and losing their grandpa was torture on them I cannot begin to imagine their Daddy. :( My heart breaks for all of you but know that prayer is with you. Bless you all!
ReplyDeletePs I NEVER comment on peoples blogs so I apologize if it's totally inappropriate to do so, I prefer to stalk in the shadows. ;)
I have never gotten the impression you or your family were unthankful for things you have received. Even after reading that post. I understood exactly what it was about. Just wanted to let you know.
ReplyDeleteKristen Robie
Sticky from Bijou and HCTS
You two need never apologize, anyone requiring one has a very thin skin and thinks way too much about themselves!
ReplyDeleteReading this hurt my heart and reminded me of another post by another dear friend who lost a teenage daughter to cancer. "There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve-even in pain-the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain."
ReplyDelete― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
http://livinglaurenslegacy.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-privilege-of-pain.html
I don't believe there is a right or wrong way to grieve. Every single person grieves differently. I too have been reading your posts for awhile.. No one else can tell you how you feel or how to feel. That too is personal! I respect you both for allowing others into your heart and that you can own your feelings and are comfortable to express them! My prayers are with each one of your family (including extended) members as you go through this most painful journey!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad to hear that people were offended. You shared your heart and your vulnerability. Your words were real, and true, and powerful to those of us who have been through this ugly, strange, brutal, heart wrenching journey. When my mom was dying we offended a lot of people, and the reason they were offended was because they cared more about their needs than my mom's. It hurts my heart that at this time you are dealing with that. I just wish you all peace and comfort, and I am grateful for your honesty and courage in speaking about your feelings. It makes a difference to those whose lives have been forever changed by cancer.
ReplyDeleteThat post was an answer to a prayer, believe it or not. My husband was diagnosed with something kife changing and I wasn't being very compassionate about it until I read that post. I realized he needs to feel that pain and go through it. I wasn't allowing him to. So thank you for posting it.
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