Seeing RED, Part Two

I will just preface this by saying perhaps Kyle has spared

you from picture overload.

Had it been ME at the concert, there would have been thousands

hundreds of pictures to choose from.  

(You think I jest about the "thousands" part....)

Instead you got Kyle's version of "PLEASE take lots of pictures

for me!  Oh pretty please!"

His version of this consists of 10.

Yup, count 'em.

Ten.  (And quite possibly a few are off of Grace's phone too) 

                

He reminds me that 10 is better than none.

I remind him that MORE is BETTER, in this case.

(In the case of teenage girl make up, LESS is always most

often BETTER....but I digress.)

They ate at Hires.  (You can't go wrong!)

They were in the Zions "box" and had front row seats in 

the box (by the sheer dumb luck they got there first and

grabbed those seats.  We are always early, like always always, this time it paid off!)

They screamed, they cried, they clapped, they sang along.

They had a marvelous time.

Thank you again neighbors and friends for making this 

night possible.

It's definitely one for the record books.

Dear Avett Brothers, You Got Something Right.

Those boys right there are the Avett Brothers, Scott and Seth.

They sure know how to sing.  And strum a banjo, and play a

guitar, and drums, and keyboards.  

Kyle, who always has a hankering for new music discovered them a few years back.  Last summer they came to Salt Lake City and played at the Gallivan Center.  We were excited to see them in concert.  They did not disappoint.

We went with Josh.   It was a balmy Utah summer night with billowy clouds in the sky, a gorgeous pink sunset and music that made us clap our hands and smile from ear to ear.

A good memory that still warms my heart.

The Avett Boys sing a song called "Murder in the City".

Why am I writing about the Avett Brothers you ask?

One, because I love their music and two, because that song has a powerful message about something that has been on my mind a lot lately.

Marriage. and Love.

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head that I haven't been spitting out.  I feel like Professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter and wish I could pull all of my thoughts out with a magic wand, into my pensieve, to revisit later.

In "Murder In The City", Scott sings in the chorus, "Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

My husband Kyle?  He's a great man.  While he will never be 

rich or famous, or even perfect...he has been good for me.

And hard for me.  

WHAT?  you ask.  

Yes, good AND hard.

Just like marriage.

Today this is what I've got...

...A message about marriage.

Marriage is hard.  It's a lot of work.  If anyone tells you

they have a perfect marriage (I think) they're either lying

or VERY VERY VERY VERY lucky.

I don't (personally) have ONE.SINGLE.FRIEND that I know well

enough to have this conversation with that has a "perfect" marriage. 

I do read about them a lot on blogs on the internet...sometimes

I come away wondering "what the #*%$$% is wrong with me and my marriage" when I do.

At a certain point, I gave up and said "That cannot POSSIBLY be reality."

Life is just too hard and throws too many curve balls that we have to work through for the majority of people to have "perfect marriages."

Sheesh...who are they fooling anyway?  

(Maybe only themselves).

Life brings us...

Children.  In laws.  Jobs.  Schooling.   Out laws.  Children.

Infertility.  Job loss.  Death.  Financial Woes. Hardships.  Health Issues.  Accidents.  Depression.  Grief.  Worry.  Did I mention Children? Religious differences. Ups. Downs. In betweens. A whole slew of good things and bad things.

All of those things can be a strain on our marriages.

"Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

The message I want to leave is this...

Life is hard.  I have sometimes wanted to quit (marriage).

Kyle has sometimes wanted to quit (marriage).  We have had some struggles that people WOULD have quit for.

Let me share just a few:

One and a half years into our marriage we had a stillborn baby boy.

Followed by two miscarriages.

Followed by infertility issues.

Followed by bad career choices that led to him working like

a slave for 6 years and a really bad ending.

Which led to Kyle going back to school in his 30's.

I was a 'single mom' for about 3 years with 4 kids while

he worked full time and went to school full time.

It was hard work.

But we made it.

Then a month later he lost his job in the middle of that

terrible, awful, no good, very bad recession.

Now he has terminal cancer.

Mixed in with a BUNCH of other good stuff and some more hard stuff.  We're really no better and no worse than any other human living, and telling their story.  Our story is just different from your story.  It is our own story of life.

Sometimes, I feel like we just can't catch a break.

Sometimes I feel like just when I come up for air, someone

shoves my head under the water again.

But, I keep getting enough air so that I am not drowning

under the weight of the water.  I keep pushing to the surface.

The reason I'm highlighting the hard stuff is to make a point.

ANY of those things IN THE SINGULAR has caused people to get a divorce....many people in all walks of life.

But guess what?   We're still here!  Together!  

Fighting the good fight.  We haven't given up!  We won't give up! We have stuck together (quite literally) through "thick and thin" and made it work.

Some times it was really really hard. 

But we did it anyway.

For ourselves.  And for our kids.

And for us, it worked.

Sometimes I wonder if people give up too easily?

Sometimes in marriage people ALSO have very good reasons FOR giving up.

But we've often said "Would it really be any better with anyone else?"  

Our answer is "Probably not.  There would be some really good new things about a new person, but they would also bring some things that drove us NUTS to the table."

Just different things that were better and worse.

I'm glad we have taught that to our children.  That sometimes

life and marriage is hard.  But you just have to get up again (and again and again and again and again and again and again)

on each new day, pull on your socks, tie your shoes and begin

fresh.

Some days it's better and some days it's worse.  

But you just keep trying...

Because... "Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

 

Kyle, I'm so glad (even on the days when I said you were driving me CRAZY!) that you've let me share your name.  I'm so glad that even on (and especially on) those days you still 

let me call you and tell you all my problems.  (none of which I can remember now.)  I'm so glad we always decided to stick

it out.  I'm so glad we can say we made it through so many

things TOGETHER.  I'm so glad even when I didn't feel like

loving you, I still liked you enough to hang around. I'm so glad that you've been my best friend and confidant for all

these years.  I'm so glad you stick notes of encouragement on

my car when I'm at the gym.  I'm so glad you fold laundry and

clean bathrooms. I'm so glad you're patient when I'm not.

I'm so glad you never gave up either.  I'm so glad we have

good memories stored in our hearts to (hopefully) be enough

to make it through what's yet to come.  I'm so glad you are 

the hardest worker I know.  I'm so glad you're a good father

to our children.  I'm so glad that, even though sometimes my

heart is breaking right now, you let it break.  And still,

you're the one who holds me up.

Thank you for holding me up for 22 years, thank you for sharing

your love with me.  Thank you for sharing your name.

Here are the Avetts singing "Murder In the City"...

Listen to these beautiful words...

(Click link)

Seeing RED ... Part One

Part One:  Pre Concert Mania

Here's what I've got for today....a feel good story.

Everyone loves a feel good story, they're just the best.

Way better than all that depressing crap I've written about

before.

Much easier to read.  No tears from reading this post.

I promise!

I'm pretty certain I've mentioned before what a great neighborhood we live in.

Especially when the chips are down...our neighborhood is really

good at picking up chips.  

Of the human variety.  Less flavorful than BBQ, but in desperate need of being picked up at times.

And even though people are heavier than chips, and less tasty than BBQ, this Olympus neighborhood lifts together in some

pretty amazing ways.

Mind blowing ways, actually.

Thank goodness, or we wouldn't be unable to make it through

this.

A few weeks back there was a "DING DONG" at our door.

And on the stoop... (I've always wanted to say "stoop" even though we really have a front porch.  With steps.  Is that even a stoop? I will have to look up the definition of "stoop" when I'm done blogging.)

Anyhoo, on the STOOP, there was an envelope.

Kyle picked it up and opened it up.

I am not ashamed to admit this, although HE may be (but I

highly doubt it, he's always been very in touch with his feelings)  ...when he looked inside he started to cry.

What he saw inside was the following:  

4 Taylor Swift RED Concert tickets, a HUGE WAD of cash (ok not a "huge wad" but a nice amount to eat dinner with before the concert), and a note from those who were treating Kyle and the girls to the show.

(Huge wad also sounds so amazingly descriptive too).

The girls, sniffing excitement, ran to the living room to 

see what was a-clatter, or the matter, or to see if we had 

brownie batter.  Or something else that rhymes with "-atter".

Oh wait!  I've got it!  

Then they started to CHATTER...

...And "girl shriek", and yell, and scream and, I think, a few 

more tears were shed.

I only know things got very loud over here in the 'hood.

(I don't want to scare any potential suitors off for my girls, 

but consider this fair warning...we are a LOUD bunch here

at the Nielson home.  And by "loud", I mean really loud. We apologize in advance if you're overwhelmed by our estrogen

and loudness.)

Even the dog ran away and hid under my bed.

And she's a girl.  She should take all this girl stuff in stride.

She a nervous thing anyway though, so that's not saying much.

(That's secret code for "wimp", but we mean it ever so lovingly).

Anyway, back to the noise and loud stuff.

And jumping and screaming and hugging and more screaming.

If you have a girl who is ANYWHERE near "teen age" or "teen stage" or just plain hormonal, you will know that Taylor Swift

reigns supreme.  She is "all that" and then some.

The hottest ticket to have around town.

Tickets had been sold out since about .5 of a second after

they went on sale months ago.

But someone had "a connection" and found 4 tickets for my family.

A memory in the making.  And a pretty darn good one at that.

Even Kyle was giddy at the prospect of seeing his idol, T. Swift,

in concert.  (Ok I may be fudging a little lot on THAT part--the part about T. being his idol).  Because don't tell anyone, but

he DOES have "RED" on his IPOD.  

SHHHHHHHHH.....It doesn't get played as much as MUMFORD, but it HAS seen some play time now and again.

But what he was THRILLED about was getting to spend time with his girls, going with them to something that they were ecstatic, and giddy and thrilled and delighted and excited and 

swooning about, and well, you get the idea....

He was over the moon about doing THIS with THEM.

I had to (just had to) find a way to thank so many people for

contributing to a joyful moment for us....So even without the

help of Pinterest (I know, right? Sometimes I shock even myself!)
I made those cute (aren't they cute?) gumball "thank you bags."

I may have chemo brain (without the chemo) most days--but every

once in a while I find my old self shining through.

Hopefully my "old self" comes through this thing in one piece.

If not, I guess I'll just find a "new self" and go from there.

A GINORMOUS THANK YOU to sweet friends and neighbors.  (that's as big as my computer will let me go...hope

it's "ginormous" enough!)

You made 3 girls and 1 dad very very happy. (And me too, even

though I sat home that night with a Dt Dr Pepper and a Redbox.)

It was nice, in a quiet way, for me. 

Part Two:  At dinner and an insider look at the concert 

           coming up.  Stay tuned.  (I must add Kyle was in 

           charge of pictures from this point on.  When I said

           "take lots of pictures!!" He thought I said "Take 

            only a few pictures!"  Me?  I'm a little overboard

            with all the picture taking.  Him?  Not so much.

            It's a good thing I'm in charge most of the time.

P.S.  DO NOT LOOK AT THE LAST PICTURE (which I've separated from

all the rest if you're offended by profanity.  I TOLD YOU I would swear when I started this blog.  I just told you!  You should always listen to me...I speak the truth.)

Tickets and such...

 Puddy's face = best face of all time here! 

 My creative genius (I use the term "genius" loosely of course)

 Concert Night...RED Attire all around on the girls

Shut down your computer NOW if you don't want to see

a naughty picture of my family.  You have been warned!

This is what we get when we say ..."SAY CANCER" at our house.

Some people say ..."SAY CHEESE" and we used to, but things have changed.  Can you see Puddy's (Olivia's) look of disgust that

we are all such bad examples to her?  She horrified to be related

to a bunch of hoodlums.  We are hoodlums, so I don't blame her.  Next thing you know we will be robbing banks.  (Although with all that lies ahead, that may not be such a bad idea.)   

I'M KIDDING!!!! (most law abiding person ever here!!! I get nervous when I drive 5 MPH OVER the speed limit!!) 

Listen folks, haters gonna hate...when you have a case of the

"terminals" going on in your house, THEN you can judge us!

Until then, just know we're doing all that we can to laugh

and survive.  And remember, it's really only a finger.

(I sense I'm loosing readership by the tens....)  I apologize.

It would seem I have fallen...

...Off the face of the earth other than obnoxious Voice Quilt 
reminders.

Which are not obnoxious enough to keep getting callers.

(hint hint if you haven't called).

Ending time Weds. June 5, 1:05 PM.

Come on ...I double dog dare you to do it!

Kyle and I have been busy organizing and trying to get a 
seemingly endless list of things in order that shouldn't
have had to be organized or put in order for many years to come.

But alas, ordering and organizing are in high demand right now.

I will post tomorrow about some highlights of our 
weekend.

Remember chemo moves to Fridays this week!!!

I will keep updates on chemo days on Instagram.

Someday I will make all those pictures into a photo book.

School ends this week and end of year insanity has
also taken over the Nielson home.

I'm waiting to exhale on Friday, when school is done...

Just another short update, that's what I've got for today~

Are you sick of me yet???? Voice Quilt Insanity!!!

Well all you Voice Quilt slackers--it looks like you have a little extra time!!! This service has been bought (yes! bought! and paid for by our friend--) It runs for exactly 30 days--at which point it shuts down FOREVER!!! (forever, as "until the end of time"). BUT!!! Because the first caller didn't call until May 5--you all have a few extra days! Here is the reminder....

"I'm writing with a quick reminder. Your unlimited toll-free phone time expires on June 5 at 1:05 PM EDT."

That's right!! You all have a few extra days to call---PLEASE make the effort to call! You have until Weds. at 1:05 PM!!

Thanks to all that have called thus far! Those of you who have NOT called? Get on it! Love, Kyle & Dorien


Please Please Please take the time!! This is something that will be treasured forever!

If you want to call back and tell ANOTHER funny/good/memory of Kyle, you have that chance too!

***Side note:  Chemo will be moving to FRIDAYS starting next week (June 7)****

***I will be back to blogging soon, I've been a lazy slacker and we've been getting A LOT
done around the house on this off week.

Kyle is feeling really good and working hard.  We're very grateful for that!

As always, Thanks for love and support!

Kyle takes the 3 girls to the Taylor Swift concert tonight...will blog that AWESOME story next week when I get back to blogging!  FWIW, our neighborhood ROCKS!!!!