Speaking of Vomit...

Can you see that dog down below?

That is Ruby.

Ruby is our Doodle.  

A goldendoodle to be exact.

(A cross between a poodle and a golden retriever

with the GREAT personality to match the cute face.)

She is the life force of our home.

This is coming from someone who was begged to, coerced,

pleaded with, whined to and yelled at to get a dog

for over 10 years.

Me.

I caved.

Note:  It took me TEN years to cave.

But I love this dog none the less.

In fact, dare I say I adore her?

I do.

DO NOT let her cute furry face fool you.

DO NOT let her silly puppy ways win you over.

Today, while I was cleaning the kitchen

Grace yelled "EMERGENCY!!!!" from the basement.

Now usually this is a secret code word for "SPIDER!"

I don't do spiders.

What I do DO, is stand in the corner screaming 

like a teenage girl yelling for my 10 year old 

to come kill it.

I know, shamelessly I admit this for all to know.

I should be humiliated, but alas I am not.

I hate spiders.  (And rats and mice in case you 

were wondering, because I know you are!)

In any event, I assumed the cry of 'Emergency' from 

the basement had something to do with an 8 legged friend.

It did not.

It had to do with a 4 legged friend named Ruby the Doodle.

She had thrown up.

Here's another thing you may not know about me.

I DON'T DO THROW UP ...either.

I kid you not.

I just cannot do it.  Being around it makes me gag.

It makes me sweat.  It makes me, well, want to vomit!

22 years of marriage and Kyle has cleaned up ALL

throw up that has crossed our path.

He is a good good good good good man.

For that fact alone?? 

He will make it to heaven.

Period.

(You can relax now honey, you've got it made!)

You may think I'm kidding when I say what I say next,

you may un-follow my blog, you may never want to meet

me in person, you may unfriend me on Facebook,

you may think I am the most horrible

person you know, you may, you might, you could, you 

should, you will.

But that vomit will sit in the basement corner until,

A) Ruby decides to eat it (some dogs do you know)

or

B) Kyle comes home.  (He's helping a friend with

a remodel today, so I'm not sure WHEN he's coming home)

Hey listen, the kitchen is clean top to 

bottom, the last load of laundry was started and 

the dishes are done.  We are clean, we like clean,

we like tidy, we like organized.  I wouldn't be

embarrassed to have any of  you over to my home

RIGHT NOW!  (Although I would steer you clear of

the basement and say something like, 'The kids

are really messy, you don't want to go down there!')

I will do A LOT of things people, but I will

NOT CLEAN UP VOMIT!! (or kill spiders, and I

run from rats and steer clear of mice...I guess I'm

a wimp!)

Speaking of vomit, I think I may have to go 

throw up now.

Have a great Saturday, because that's what I've

got for today.

And in case you're wondering (and I know you are) the dog
still hasn't eaten it and Kyle is not home yet.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!

We are not taking visitors today!

Come back tomorrow! ;)






UPDATE:  I'm going to heaven
now too.  I didn't want Kyle 
to be alone when the time comes, 
so I DID IT!  I freaking did it!
I cleaned up my 'first throw up'.  
And I only gagged three times 
and dry heaved once.

Just don't call me for spiders.
I can only tackle one new thing
at a time.

I'm pretty sure I deserve an 
award or something.  Anything?
What have you got people?

Now I'm REALLY off to throw up.