The Voices of Cholangiocarcinoma. Voice #1 Becky

A Day In My Life- Friday

On the Outside, this is a day of my life.

I'm a wife & mother . 

- I wake up at 5:30am, my husband is in pain. I sleep next to him in a day bed, he's in a hospital bed. I grab his 5 morning pills and have him take them.

- My boys 15 & 10 years old have no 
          school today. 

          Snow Day!

- The visiting nurse showed up, she comes once 
          a week to our house to check on my husband.

- Make a call to the Dr to request a prescription, 
          it will be ready to pick to up tomorrow.

- I make breakfast, hoping I don't make my 
          husbands nausea kick in.

- He asked for a nausea pill. 

- I get everything in order so I can go out 
          and run errands. I make sure my husband has 
          all he needs next to him and his 4 hr pain meds.

- First stop, Social Security office. I need 
          applications filled out for both our sons. 
          Since to many people called in sick the nice 
          lady said I should come back next week. 

-Got a text from my dearest friend asking if 
         need anything from the grocery store.

-Second stop, The Hospital Pharmacy. I have to 
         pick up more prescriptions for my husband. 
         You can't get these at your local CVS.

-Third stop, UPS Store. I need to fax more 
         documentation to Aetna. We're still waiting for 
         his short term disability to kick in.

- Gas Light goes on, I'm on "E". I wonder if 
         there's any money in our checking account to pay 
         for gas?

- I'm home, and my husband is in serious pain. 
          Is it from the surgery yesterday? The Cancer? 
         What? I need to keep an eye on him.

- My employer got my message that I'm ready to 
          return to work.

- It's 3:30 pm. I am exhausted. 

On the Inside, this is how I'm feeling:

- Please God, take his pain away.

- I love my dog. 

- Ugg, I hope they don't fight.

- I love my kids.

- Not you again, but I smile.

- Why can't they make it a 90 day prescription 
          not 30 days.

- I love my husband.

- Please don't throw up, I know it hurts 
          your body.

- Stupid SS office people.

- I love my friend.

- I hear sirens at the hospital, makes my 
          heartbeat fast with fear.

- Crap, I forgot the fax number. I'm in a 
          public place, don't freak out.

- I'm worried, he's looking kinda yellow.

- I don't want to work...I want to spend as 
          much time with my husband as possible.

- This is exhausting.... 

~Becky.  CC Wife.  

Husband currently doing battle with CC.

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Thank you for sharing a peek into your life Becky.

I love how so many of the "voices" of cancer are

all so different, yet so very much the same.

I have loved reading the stories that have been

sent so far and would love to post any

more that come my way.

I have had some people tell me this is the first time

they've written down their feelings and it was

heart breaking and healing all at once for them.

I have had some people tell me no one wants to

hear their stories.

I've had people thank me for being willing to share them.

I am HONORED to share your stories.

I want to share real voice of real people telling

real stories.  

THIS?  It is real life for us.  And them.

I wish I had a readership of thousands so that the

word could be spread about this disease.

I hope in sharing that it will START raising

some kind of awareness.

Stories by wives and spouses and siblings and friends.

I will try and post them each as quickly as I can.

They are the voices of courage and fear

and hope and grief and pain and ghosts and memories

and cholangiocarcinoma, and love.