The Question Nobody Asked, With The Answer Everyone Wants to Hear.

Kyle with his CUTE Grandma and Grandpa "Great" up at Chemo today.

Round 14.  They caused quite a stir (and a tear or two) when they came

into the Infusion Room to come and give Kyle a little love and support.

They are 89 and 91 years young and have been a huge part of Kyle's

life forever.  It was so fun to see them (and Aunt Wendy!) in their

Superman gear today!!  It was like a little posse of Supermen up

at the Huntsman Cancer Institute today.  #family_love

Well, it may not be the question nobody has asked.

It's a question I get a lot.

And hear a lot.

Often times it's said to someone else in reference to me.

Or Kyle.  Or us.

"How do they do this?"

"How do you do this?"

"I could NEVER do this."

"I don't know how they do this, I just couldn't do it."

Yesterday I went to a caregiver support group up at Huntsman.

I was the only one there.

Apparently I am the ONLY caregiver in the Salt Lake Valley

that needs help.

(I'm kidding--hopefully I'm kidding)

Since no one else showed up what I got was basically a free hour of therapy from a therapist.  Fist pump!

Win win!

We talked about this very thing.

I have heard it whispered in the air around me, over and over.

How.Do.They.Do.This?

I could never do this.

Do you want to know the secret?

The answer to the question?

Here it is:

We can't do it either.

There is no doing.

There is NO magic answer.

And IF you had to do it?

You would.

Here is HOW we do it...

We don't have a choice.

That's how.

So we keep getting up everyday and living.

We keep pushing through the hard times.

We keep going to Doctor appointments and chemo and PET scans.

We keep planning and talking and breathing.

We just keep moving.

And some days we scream and cry and yell.

And some days we stay in bed and weep (Well, I do anyway).

But then a new day comes and we keep getting up and moving.

All over again.

Here's the thing,

The thing is,

There is NO magic answer.

What are the alternatives?

Quitting life?

We can either choose to push through, and forward or

we can choose to give up.

So, you see, there is not really a choice.

It is about just doing.

And here's the other thing...

IF you had to do this?

You would. 

You would just get out of bed everyday and wish it were all

a bad dream that you could wake up from...

...but it isn't and so you would live life.

You would just do it.

Simply because you had to.

There are no other choices.

This is part of the game we call "Life".

Roll the dice, move your game piece around the board, 

pass Go!, collect $200.

Sometimes life hands out some pretty amazing things,

and sometimes life hands out your very worst nightmares.

It's like Kyle said on his recent video interview, "You

get some bad stuff and some good stuff along the way.  You

hope that there's more good stuff than bad and then you 

make the best of all the rest.  So far?  My life has been

WAY MORE good stuff than bad stuff!"

And for him?  That's a good life.

Kyle and I think it's funny when people say we're "heroic" or "have courage".

We don't look at ourselves that way at all.

We are just regular people, facing a really hard thing, making

the choice to keep going.

And I promise, no matter how much you think you couldn't 

do it?

You could!

And you are!

You just have a different hard thing that you will deal with.

Or that you are dealing with.  Or that will come into your

life someday.

And that's what I've got for today!

You can do it!

And so can we!

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A shout out to a friend I've never met in Texas who is fighting

this horrible monster known as Cholangiocarcinoma.

Lora.

I have learned about her via her friend Amy.

She's facing the hardest part of this battle.

If anyone feels so inclined, who reads my blog, will you please

say a prayer for her and her family and loved ones?

Or light a candle.

Or send up a good thought.

Or good wish.

Or a positive vibe into the universe?

However you communicate with the power greater than YOU?

They could use some extra love coming their way right now.

And I think anyone, that has ANYTHING to do with this cancer

deserves a little boost during the hardest parts.

Thank you~ 

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And for your weekend viewing pleasure.  Here is a 20 minute

TED talk by Geoff Warburton called "The Adventure of Grief".

It is SO SO fabulous!  It's about FEELING along the way and 

choosing joy over sadness.  Kyle found it and passed it along

to me.  We BOTH loved it for so many reasons.

Some different.

Some the same.

Give it a listen.  (Click the link to get to the talk).

Have a great weekend everyone~

The BEST quote from the talk (but still watch it!) is this:

"Even if you've lost the love of your life, you've not been

cheated by life.  No matter how tragic the circumstances.

But we cheat life if we close our hearts after we've lost 

someone."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juET61B1P98