Saturday, January 4, 2014

Heading back to reality

Just a little update.

The holidays came and went.  The kids had a two 
week break.  It was relaxing and nice.

We ate sushi for the first time, (shout out to Danielle
and Eric!  We liked it!)  we went to movies, 
the kids relaxed with their daddy. They went
sledding and bowling and had sleepovers with cousins.
They "played" with Christmas gifts and stayed in 
their pajamas all day everyday.  They did exactly
what they're supposed to do.

On the other hand, over the break I ended one job and immediately started a new job.

The day before Christmas.  And that was fun.

(Which is going okay so far, I'm in that learning
curve where I feel like I don't know how to do 
anything right and I've decided 9 hours is a LONGGGGGG
day.  8-5, yes 9 hours away from home.  But I am 
a wimp and I know what can I say?  I miss
my family so much, I hope that as time goes by I will
adjust to being away from them, but still, I miss them
A LOT for now.)

I love my commute, which is about 10 minutes flat.

The clinic I work at is HUGE (lots of people) so I
am slowly figuring out faces and trying not to get
lost in the maze behind all the check in desks.

So far, it's good.

School starts back up for the kids Monday and
school starts back up for me as well this week.

Kyle has his first PET scan after 2 months with
NO chemo and post Y 90 on MONDAY!

PET scans make us both a little nervous, they
are a good indicator as to what's happening inside
his body with the cancer.

It "lights everything up".  He's like
an inside out glow stick, only hopefully LESS
glowy.  With cancer the smaller the glow, the better.

Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

Just drinking the "crap" AKA Raspbarium (not the 
technical name, of course) that he has to drink
to make his innards "glow"?  Well, that makes
Kyle want to vomit.

Dr Sharma is off travelling the world and so PET
scan results will not be known for a full week.

A FULL WEEK!!!!  (The following Monday)

Be still my heart.

Don't they know the waiting is the worst part?

After which, depending on how everything looks,
we assume Kyle will head back to weekly chemo.

Although we've decided that even if the Dr. WANTS
to keep waiting?  We're not "sitting around" any
longer and letting this cancer grow for now.

Kyle wants to fight.

I want to fight.

Remember, our HOPE is in the FIGHT.

And so fight we must!

(Which includes chemo attacking those nasty 
little cancer cells.)

We've heard The Huntsman offers chemo on Saturday--
and we may shoot for that day.  It literally
breaks my heart to NOT be with Kyle
for his 6 hour run on chemo days.  So if it all
works out, I think we will shoot for chemo day 
Saturdays.  And it may not, but that's what we'll
hope for. 

I just like to be there with him.  It's good 
for my soul.  And he admitted he liked it too.

It is just one more step in the process that I 
hate to miss.  And these days with work I am
missing SO much.  Chemo days, Dr appt's, PET scans
ALL of the things I used to go to with Kyle.

And so, one more day at a time.

One more day of breathing in and out.

Work and school and PET scans and chemo.

Life just keeps cycling around and round.

I guess we're headed back to reality, although
most days for us?  It feels like it never left.

That's what I've got.

Post Edit:
We had a SUPER wonderful and thoughtful and kind
and did I mention WONDERFUL surprise over Christmas
that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with cancer.

(well, it did in a round about way, but it didn't 
at all really.)

I will be posting updates when I can about this
fun surprise that made us giddy and cry tears
of gratitude and feel spoiled and blessed and
even uncomfortable.

More to come on that. :)

(gotta keep the readership engaged with suspense right?)

1 comment:

  1. Keep fighting, you guys! And you are correct, Dorien...waiting IS the hardest part! I'm praying the PET will show improvement! Love you two :)