When Sadness Comes....

My sister sent this to me.
It's perfectly perfect.

This is what Kyle was trying to say in his post
a while back, the one about feeling the feelings.

The one about embracing the pain and letting it 
help us instead of pretending it doesn't exist.

This says it so well....

I will gladly hold the sadness (not FOREVER, but for 
a while) and I will embrace it--the only way
to the other side is through all of this.

I miss him so much.  So very very much.
My heart aches with sadness and I'm glad it does
for it reminds me of the love we shared.

Thank you for so many many many many countless 
acts of kindness done for, and to, and with, and on behalf
of my family.  

From the bottom of our broken hearts,
We Thank You All.

-------------------------------

When sadness comes, hold it lightly.

We desperately want to change it, fix it, make it stop. “Go Away,” we scream, 

“there’s no place for you here!”

We ask, “Why?” We wonder what’s the matter with us. We judge. We gripe. 

We wring our hands looking for the answer, the key to never feeling this way again.

We think we have no right to sadness and frantically remake our gratitude lists hoping 

they will sear the sadness right out of us.

Our plan of attack is to numb, duck and hide with food, friends, lovers, running, wine,

 more self-care, mothering, fixing, doing, working, should do‘s and have to‘s. 

All weapons drawn to freeze the sadness out. Ramparts erected around our hearts to 

protect against invasion.

And still, sadness finds us. It pulls up a seat and makes a home in the center of our being.

To figure it out, to make it disappear, feels impossible and imperative. 

Instead, we must hold it gently.

No fixing, no denying, no “I shouldn’t be feeling this way because I have so much.”

Life is not linear or binary. 

You’re allowed to have a sparkling good life and still feel sad.

Sadness is not a reflection of who you ARE. It’s simply an expression of your current experience.

Hold sadness lightly, then question, “What’s for lunch?” Hold it softly and plan a dinner.

Watch it walk across your chest then ask a friend, “What can I do to help you today?”

Sit in the sadness and go for a walk, talk it out, cry till your eyes turn red, read a book, pull your hair, dance, draw a warm bath.

Let yourself feel it all and watch it wash up, over and through you.

 If given room to move, it will not lodge itself in you.

Sadness is not a permanent state, yet when judged and ignored, that’s exactly what it becomes. 

We are multi-emotional beings. To try and only be happy is to deny our essence.

Sadness comes and it goes on its own accord. Our only job is to let it. 

When sadness arrives, let it have a place by the hearth in your heart and ask it how long 

it’s looking to stay.

Hold it lightly. Speak to it tenderly. Hold it with incredible love. 

Hold it with the door open to let it come and go as it will, knowing that your life is 

still moving forward.

Hold it, without the need to change it, and then watch as it does.