I felt the need to "warn" Josh (our oldest) of what was coming.
(lucky him)
I pulled Josh into my bedroom one day and sat him
down on my bed.
I am pretty sure I had tears in my eyes and I know for
a fact I had a heavy, heavy heart.
Something in the universe was swirling around my soul,
whispering loudly to me, that bad news was coming.
Other people tried to make light of my feelings.
They told me to stay off the internet.
But something louder than their voices was telling me...
...telling me of the impending blow.
The fracture, this fissure, to life as we knew it.
Something was blowing in on the wind, and it wasn't good.
I knew in my heart of hearts WHAT was coming.
I knew I had something to tell Josh.
Something important.
That day, as I took Josh into my room and sat him on my bed,
I looked at him and said, "Joshua, somehow, someway I have
a feeling that whatever we find out is going to be serious.
I just want to prepare you for what I think is coming."
I needed Josh to know what was coming. I felt very strongly
that he needed to be prepared. To know.
Then when we found out Kyle had terminal cancer, there were people who wanted us to hide the truth.
From family, from our children, from everyone.
To us, that wasn't fair. It didn't make sense.
People needed to know.
To grieve. To love. To share. To be. To process.
To come to terms. To surround us. To help us. To lift us.
As you can see (if you've been reading my blog), I am honest,
quite possibly to a fault.
But none the less, honest.
Now here's where YOU come in.
Whether "YOU" are family, or friends, or basically ANYONE
who loves Kyle...
I have something to tell YOU.
I feel very strongly that YOU need to hear this.
Right now Kyle is doing good, very very good in fact.
We are SOOOOOO thrilled with this fact.
(So thrilled. So thrilled. So thrilled.)
Jumping up and down--giddy kinda thrilled.
We love it and embrace it and rejoice in it.
This, however, will NOT always be the case.
So this is what I feel I must say to YOU.
Take the time NOW to be with him, and make memories.
Do NOT make excuses, or wait for another day.
Time will keep passing.
And if you're not careful...
Well, YOU know the answer to that.
So here's what I want to say to YOU...
Seize the moment. Make hay while the sun shines. Carpe diem.
Grab the chance. Smell the roses. Take the opportunity.
Life is short. Don't be fooled by the calendar.
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. Go for it.
Spend the afternoon with someone you love. Start immediately.
Make no exceptions. Make a memory. Don't waste time.
Make the most of it. Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today. There's no time like the present. Don't be an idiot.
and lastly...
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
Here's the thing...
everyone thinks they have time.
And so YOU keep pushing things YOU need to do to a later date.
With cancer, you just don't know how much...time you have.
I don't want anyone, who WANTS to make memories with Kyle,
to regret it as they look backwards and find they didn't make
the time.
Just make the time.
Because before you know it, time will be gone.
I'm not trying to be fatalistic. I'm just being factual.
He only has so much of that time stuff left.
Why not hang out with him, or call him, or take him to lunch,
or visit or spend what he has, while he's GOOD, making that
memory with YOU?
Whether its many many month or several years,
there is a limited amount now.
DO NOT regret that you didn't make time.
I know that life is busy, and time often gets away from us--
but this is a case when you can't let it.
Get away.
Or YOU will have regrets.
When you look back, and realize you didn't make the time
for your brother, or friend, or dad, or cousin, or boss, or husband, or WHATEVER he is to YOU.
I am trying to seize EVERY possible moment of time I can.
This weekend it meant taking him with me on a photo shoot.
(That sounds so professional--I am anything but!)
It meant delaying cleaning the house and catching a movie
we would normally wait to see in Redbox.
It meant just saying "Let's go!" and grabbing dinner with
friends.
It means going up to chemo and every.single.doctor.appointment
with him.
I will never get this time back and I will NOT look back
with regret and say I didn't make all the time I could for
this man that I have called my best friend for 24 years.
In case YOU'RE worried about who YOU are....???
I'm not talking to anyone in particular.
There is no one on my mind as I type this.
Just YOU, whoever YOU are...as YOU read this...
...Maybe YOU needed to hear it.
Make time. Make memories.
Don't look back with regret YOU didn't make either
with someone you love.
The dishes can wait. The laundry piles can wait.
Homework can wait. Pretty much anything can wait.
The thing that will NOT wait for YOU?
Time.
Don't let it get away.
That's what I've got for today.
You've got to love a man that can wear an apron AND make crepes!
And watch out--he KNOWS how to wield a spatula!
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